home (room / camera tour)
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, an ongoing list of things I'm thankful for:
Loving and supportive relationships
Proximity to family and quality time
A job I'm excited about that enables me flexibility to do things that I care about
Living in a lovely space in the beautiful (bubble) of Orange County
Earth
Health
Feeling safe
Feeling loved
As the year draws to a slow close and pieces of my life feel like they're falling more into place, I have been meaning to make more time to reflect on the parts of my life that I haven't had the bandwidth to address lately.
In order to do that, I wanted to first think about what pieces falling into place meant on a more detailed level. In 2019, these are some things I feel like I got a better grasp on:
Prioritizing mental health and doing what's right for me instead of what's expected of me
A variety of job exploration this year has given me a better sense of career goals and the role my job plays in the larger context of my everyday life
Building a routine that enables me to spend time on what's meaningful to me
How to read a lot of books / process information without it overtaking my life
Enabling positive relationships that inspire growth and a strong sense of emotional stability and support
Understanding my role in the world and what kind of impact I want to have
Unlearning a lot of ingrained biases and consistently working towards more open-mindedness and empathy
Designing a rejuvenating personal / work space that makes home feel like home
Happy corner of lovely books and some favorite memories.
Standing desk for the remote work life.
Is this functional wall art?
40% ortholinear keyboard! Programmable shortcuts and small form factor make design work a lot easier for me and typing more fun in general.
And as I look forward towards 2020, these are some of the things I've started thinking about:
Developing more creative agency in photography and a strengthening my voice in writing
Continue to learn in all aspects that pique my curiosity, but also prioritizing taking action and community involvement in addressing problems that I care about
Continuing to embrace vulnerability and discomfort
As time has become more of a limited resource with a full-time job, I have also thought about the things in my life that I find most fulfilling, things that inevitably make my day when they happen:
Spending meaningful time with loved ones
Getting a roll of film developed and seeing images that come out as beautifully as the scene I sought to capture
Putting words to paper that successfully express a complex emotion or story
Gaining more insight into a nuanced problem and learning new perspectives
The most satisfying way to write on paper.
Endless stream of library books for knowledge and perspective building.
These are both likely just the beginning of long lists, but the points about photography are something that I have been thinking about a lot lately. I started my photography journey in high school on a series of pocket rangefinder cameras that quickly became integral to the way that I interacted with my surroundings. As my relationship with documentation changed, I've tried all sorts of cameras and tools, sometimes out of curiosity for old technology, sometimes because their optical qualities resonate with the way I perceive the world around me. When Flickr was still used, I kept favorites folders with inspirational images from others—almost always shot on film. When I went through them to examine the equipment used, were inevitably from a select few cameras: Olympus XA, Leica M series, Mamiya 6 or 7, Hasselblad 500, or a Contax point and shoot. It was eventually clear to me what I valued as I continued to curate images—layered depth of field, sharp contrast, warm lighting, slight vignetting, and the unquantifiable film aesthetic.
I became a lot less systematic in photo studies as years went on, and in retrospect, would stumble into traps of "gear acquisition syndrome," although hopefully a lot less than the average photographer. There were a few years where I transitioned completely to digital, adopting a full frame Canon 6D system to be more of a "legitimate" photographer. I did more paid shoots than ever during that time, but felt increasingly, that my photography had lost its soul. I've bought a sold four digital cameras since then, each time convincing myself that digital was a way to try out different focal lengths, shootings styles, and editing styles simply. On the side, I shot a Polaroid Land 450, a massive folding instant camera (probably the size of a textbook).
I miss pack film so much :(
Not subtle, but I actually carried this around on a daily basis because I loved the images so much. It didn't occur to me then that the times I learned most about creating images were the times I brought this brick out to shoot or on long film-only trips. My favorite images, other than stargazing photos, from my journey through the UK and Canada a year ago, are undoubtedly the film shots. The digital photos mostly sit untouched on a hard drive. I sold my last professional digital camera kit earlier this year and cannot think of a single moment where I have missed it. I've shot every trip this year with my M2 or Olympus XA4, and it's been entirely liberating. I feel like I've embraced a visual style that I appreciate, but haven't been able to challenge myself with different formats or aspect ratios. I'm happy with the images I create, but feel like I've fallen into a pattern of photographs that are not necessarily challenging my eye. This isn't necessarily about equipment, but I've decided to try 6x6 medium format shooting more seriously: I bought a Mamiya 6 earlier this week. I sold my Rolleicord, Olympus Trip 35, Pentax ME Super, and original Olympus XA. I now have only 5 film cameras (6 if you count instant…)! “Only” is subjective, I know. I had probably more than 25 at some point, so this is progress.
Canon QL17 GIII - I got this in Hong Kong after the shutter on my Leica failed. It’s a sweet little rangefinder camera that I use when the Leica is too hefty but I want more control than the Olympus XA4, or when I want a 40mm focal length. Also the prices on these things keep climbing.
Minolta SRT-101 - This was gifted to me by family and I haven’t actually had a chance to use it yet. I don’t typically shoot SLR’s, but ability to frame more precisely and the 50mm f/1.4 lens would be sweet for when I eventually get around to practicing portraiture.
Mamiya 6 - Newest member of the family! Looking for some medium format square landscapes. Honestly just very excited to shoot with a real MF camera. I loved my Rolleicord but that thing was a pain to actually use.
Olympus XA4 - My every day carry camera. It can expose weirdly sometimes in high contrast lighting conditions but nothing beats the size to image quality ratio on this thing.
Leica M2 - This is the most tactilely satisfying chunk of metal I’ve ever used. I can’t actually afford Leica glass but the 7Artisans 35mm f/2 has been serving me well thus far. My back hates it whenever I bring this with me but the photos make it all worth it.
One of my favorite parts of my room is the amount of natural light I get during the day and waking up to a sunrise. I’m trying to better about recognizing good portrait lighting and practicing with it (Does anyone want to do a portrait shoot?). I don’t love self-portraiture because I find looking into lenses nerve wracking, so here’s some eye contact avoidance and nice bedroom light.
other updates
Going on a weekend trip to Seattle in February
Finished 123 books (loved Bluets by Maggie Nelson) which means I will definitely make 125 by the end of 2019. Maybe I should be going for 130?
Have really been enjoying biking lately
Mobile garden is growing decently well!
reflection questions
What are you thankful for?
What are small things you do to make your home feel more like home?
